Dr. Nick Stinett (Oklahoma State University and University of Nebraska-Lincoln) interviewed families which were felt to be the strongest in their communities. Dr. Stinett focused on patterns in families to determine what makes families strong, rather than focusing on what's 'wrong' with families in our society. Through his long-term research, six secrets of strong families emerged.

1. Commitment: Commitment to the family is a promise of time, interest and energy. The family as a whole is committed to seeing each member reach his/her potential. It does NOT include an individual or individuals suffering so others in the family grow.
2. Wellness: Wellness is the belief in positive human interaction. This belief helps family members trust others and learn to give and receive love. It is not the absence of problems. Strong families have their share of troubles, but their trust and love enable them to meet problems effectively.
3. Communication: Effective communication in strong families involves clear, direct channels between speaker and listener. Families develop complicated ways of communication and members may be unaware just exactly what they are 'saying' by a certain word, phrase or action. Individuals use a combination of verbal and non-verbal actions to get messages to others. Strong families have learned to communicate directly and to use consistent verbal and non-verbal behaviors.
4. Appreciation: Showing appreciation involves being able to recognize beautiful, positive aspects of others and to let them know you value these qualities. It also means being able to receive compliments yourself.
5. Time Together: Spending time together as a family may be the most rewarding experience for humans. Two important features of time together are quality and quantity. Strong families spend meaningful time with each other and spend time together a lot. This gives a family an identify unobtainable in any other way.
6. Ability to Deal With Stress, Conflict & Crisis: All previous strengths combine to make an 'inner core pf power' for families. This core serves as a resource for those times when conflict and crisis come. It helps reduce stress and prevents many conflict and crisis. Strong families are able to survive, and even grow stronger, in the face of hard times.
   
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   Provided by Certified Building Family Strengths Trainer, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, Clifton Fuller, LMFT, LPC, LCSW
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